Id, ego & super-ego

I don't take drugs, I don't smoke, I don't really like drinking either. Now you are probably going to think I'm boring or a prude or something strange. At least, living in London, it seems to me like people would view me that way. Everyone here seems to drink like a fish - much more than where I'm originally from at least. Going out at night and getting "wasted" and "getting lucky" seem to be the ideal night out, in university circles that probably also involved taking some substance or another or social smoking. I don't enjoy any of it. But I am not boring. I love dancing and spending my day with friends on adventures, going to places we haven't been before, doing things we haven't done before. And by things I mean activities: ice skating, cycling, picnicking, playing badminton volleyball board games, swimming, diving - I think you get the gist. I am passionate about living and want to do that for as long as I can.

I am a hopeless romantic and I do believe in love at first sight. Stories by people I know have strengthened this belief even further. I don't like calling sex "fucking" and as lame as some people may think it sounds, I do like the term "making love". The former sounds so mechanical and pretty rubbish. The latter mysterious and passionate. The kinda stuff that a hopeless romantic like me would look for. I crave a feeling of one-ness and mystery. Mystery because who really knows exactly what love is.. does it last? Is it a thing beyond our understanding or is really just pheromones and endorphins? I also do not know whether I believe in a higher power or not -talking about mystery. I would love it if there were a meaning to life, a purpose, that was clearly known but there isn't. I guess I would consider myself a panpsychist - higher power is everywhere in every person. Maybe the higher power is just life force within every creature and plant. I don't know. I was brought up semi-pagan, so I guess that's where that belief takes root.

I am a psychology student. I think a lot about everything. I wonder whether I have this illness or that personality disorder when I read about and haven't come to any conclusions. I've even wondered whether I am a psychopath or an empath. I think the two are rather similar despite being on opposite ends of the spectrum. I love being creative and making things with my hands and thought I could maybe make a bit of extra money so I can actually get a new pair of shoes or a haircut when I need it - being a poor student is depressing. That's why I intend to upload my designs onto here.

Finally, my name is not Sophie Zephyr. I don't really like voicing my opinions publicly (unless I feel an injustice has occurred) I am actually rather reserved and shy. I nicked my great-grandmothers surname and used my middle name instead.